A Walking Brain, a Big Pain
by Oboebyrd
Summary: RPG based story- Velma and Daphne run into a mystery on a supposedly uneventful joyride, without the rest of the gang to help them. Will they solve the mystery, or kill each other first?


A Walking Brain, a Big Pain.  
  
Authors: Oboebyrd (Daphne) and DwanandTX (Velma) Disclaimer: We do not own Scooby-Doo. We do own the villain, however, and keep him in our pocket. This story is taken off of Yahoo! Groups mail. It has been slightly edited (And rearranged), with both parties' permission, to flow a little better, and be a bit longer. 'Gwibble' is the ultimate form of self-expression, and belongs solely to me, Oboebyrd. But if you want to start using it in your daily life. go right ahead. ^_^ Rating: PG-13 for Language and innuendoes. -_^ Summary: Velma and Daphne solve a mystery. with a walking brain. well, I suppose it rather 'oozes' instead of walks, but still. spooky!  
  
~~~ The Story Begins. ~~~ Daphne sat behind the wheel of the Mystery Machine, gripping the wheel as if it might try to escape, glaring grimly over the dash at the road ahead.  
  
The van clattered down the road at around 65, taking the swamp-road's corners at the same speed.  
  
Velma, the only other occupant in the van, had such a tight hold on the seat that she was afraid her fingers were going to go through the fabric. "Slow down, Daph!" She yelped, after another gear-rattling turn. "It's not bad enough to hijack the Mystery Machine and kidnap me, now you're going to take us off the road and slam us into a tree?"  
  
Daphne looked over at Velma and glared. "First of all, you AGREED to come with me, I didn't kidnap you. Second of all, I BOUGHT THIS FRICKIN' CAR! I *think* I can use it! ... Third of all... AUGH!"  
  
She slammed on the brakes. The Mystery Machine, which had been rumbling haphazardly along as Daphne yelled at Velma, came to a grinding, clattering halt.  
  
After things had stopped clattering around and finding new 'positions' in the back, Velma opened the door and slid out. For a few minutes, she just stood there; quietly hoping all of her new gray hairs would be easily covered up.  
  
Then, she went out to the front of the car to investigate what Daphne had almost hit. A huge, fallen tree. Keen. But that wasn't all.  
  
"Take a look at this, Daph!" Velma exclaimed, too excited to yell angrily at her friend. "It's a slime trail... like the kind slugs leave! Only it's huge!"  
  
The slime trail on the other side of the log was easily half again as wide as the log itself. It traveled from one side of the woods to the other, slightly drying up on one side.  
  
Daphne was still just slightly frazzled, and climbing out of the car only to look at a trail of slime did not help much. "Oh, gross, Velma! How could you find a bunch of GOO exciting?" She demanded.  
  
Daphne was personally a little more interesting in the huge tree. How were they going to get around *that*?  
  
"Oh, come on, Daphne. Besides, this slime trail could be from some sort of new species! Or a monster! We could have a mystery on our hands!" Velma exclaimed, looking truly excited at the possibility.  
  
"Oh, yeah, a DISGUSTING mystery, and I don't want it on MY hands." Daphne said sulkily, standing at the door of the Mystery Machine warily.  
  
Velma rolled her eyes. She headed back to the Mystery Machine to try and dig a cup out of the new mess. "Let's get a sample!" After a few minutes of scrounging, she finally found a cup, and was about to head back to the fallen tree to get some of the slime, but stopped. "Uhm... do you see what I see?" She asked Daphne tentatively.  
  
"Jeepers! I see it, alright!" Daphne exclaimed.  
  
Heading towards them, though still on the other side of the fallen tree, was a humongous brain, easily the size of the Mystery Machine. It left a slime trail behind it wherever it went... and it was heading straight towards the girls.  
  
Daphne leaped back inside the Mystery Machine. "Get in, Velma! We're getting out of here!" Velma was already scrambling in.  
  
The Mystery Machine's engine started. And died. "Dammit!" Daphne yelped.  
  
"Oh no, don't tell me the Mystery Machine won't start up again!" Velma exclaimed, watching the brain nervously. "Oh, wait, I don't think it can get over the branch!"  
  
At that exact moment, the brain began to hover, floated above the ground, and began to glide through the air. "Jinkies! Guess I was wrong!" Velma exclaimed.  
  
Daphne grumbled something that was, luckily, mostly inaudible to her fellow passenger. Then, conveniently, just when the brain was about to land on the hood, the Mystery Machine started. It shot into reverse, backed up off the road and into the ditch, then shot out of the ditch with unusual sprightliness and powered down the road.  
  
The brain oozed along. "That's it," Daphne said after a moment. "I'm never driving again..."  
  
Velma winced as the familiar sounds of objects in the back rearranging themselves once again was heard. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Daph... the Mystery Machine always stalls when there's any sort of danger." She paused, and thought for awhile. "That floating brain obviously wasn't normal. Let's stop by that creepy old farmhouse and ask if they know anything about the brain!"  
  
"I didn't notice that creepy old house there when we passed it the first time!" Daphne exclaimed, as she drove the Mystery Machine up the weed- ridden driveway and parked it next to the rotting deck. "Golly, it looks awfully deserted to me..." She noted.  
  
Daphne stepped out of the van, and looked around, wrinkling her nose at the decay and disuse of the house.  
  
Velma stepped out of the car as well. She rubbed her head, which was getting sore from worrying about dying in a ball of flames when Daphne crashed the car. "It IS deserted." She said after a moment. "I wonder what drove the folks that used to live here off?"  
  
"Maybe it's the charming location? Who'd want to live in a disgusting swamp like this, anyway?" Daphne asked, then looked down with a yelp as she stepped on something that squirted out from underneath her feet. "Oh, gross... more of that slime! And I stepped in it! In my new shoes! Damn..."  
  
"Jinkies! Another clue!" Velma exclaimed, ignoring Daphne's dilemma. "The brain must have been by here, too! Which means it may come back here!" She said, sounding excited. "Or... wait..." She said, her excitement fading, "If it comes back here... and we're here... I got it! We can come up with a plan to trap it!"  
  
"A plan to trap it?" Daphne repeated in annoyance. "You sound just like Freddy. Why don't we just hop in the Mystery Machine and get out of here? This brain's already ruined one shoe, it's obviously dangerous."  
  
"You sound like Shaggy." Velma replied accusingly. "And the only reason it ruined your shoe is because YOU stepped in it. So basically, you're stuck for it now. Don't you want REVENGE for your shoe, Daph?"  
  
"Revenge for my shoe?" Daphne repeated, staring blankly at Velma. "What's gotten into you, Velma? You're crazy."  
  
"And YOU'RE the spawn of Satan, but you don't hear me calling names..." Velma muttered.  
  
"No, no, we've gone over this before." Daphne said slowly. "My dad's name is- Hey! Wait a second!" She drew herself up to her full height which, while still not the tallest in the world, was pretty tall compared to the dinky Dinkley. "That's it, Velma! You're going down!"  
  
Velma blinked up at Daphne. "Oops..." She muttered.  
  
Now seemed like a good time to leave. Velma turned and darted inside the old, abandoned farmhouse.  
  
Daphne chased after her. After a few seconds of the standard chase down the halls, she lost sight of Velma for a minute, then took a left instead of a right. "Great..." Daphne muttered. "NOW where is she?"  
  
Far gone.  
  
Velma was, of course, only too happy to loose the homicidal Daphne in the chase. "Jinkies, I've been telling her that 'spawn-of-Satan' thing for years and she only just caught on today..." She thought aloud.  
  
She noticed some more of the slime trail around the corner, and turned. Sure enough, the brain had oozed through here... not too long ago, by the looks of it. "It must still be in the house!" Velma exclaimed. "I have to find... no, she'll figure it out herself." Velma said, and cautiously began to follow the slime trail the way it had come... maybe she could figure out where it came in...  
  
After a minute of randomly casting about in the hallways, Daphne realized that she was, once again, making bait of herself. "Stupid." She grumbled, and looked around. There were, of course, huge portraits on the walls of the abandoned farmhouse... but none of them had moving eyes.  
  
One plus. She looked behind her cautiously, and then continued down the hallway. The house seemed so big. All the houses were big. Where could she get endless real estate like this?  
  
Meanwhile, Velma had been following the slime trail for quite a ways. It was beginning to dry up, and that meant... what? Well, obviously the brain was nearby.  
  
She suddenly heard groaning and knocking from a nearby closet. She cautiously opened it, and two men in tattered clothing fell out, both of them gibbering. They looked like farmers.  
  
"Gwah... guh... ba..." One said.  
  
The other one seemed to have more control of his wits. "The brain... it took mine! Guh! Help us! Guh! Why won't it let us run!" The farmer curled up and rocked back in forth in a little ball.  
  
"Jinkies! What happened to you?" Velma asked, bending down by the two.  
  
Daphne came upon the same slime trail. She decided that she really didn't want to meet up with a walking brain... or oozing, or whatever it did... so backtracked from the way it had come. It wasn't long before she came upon Velma. "What happened?" She asked her friend, bending down next to her and the gibbering farmers.  
  
"I don't know!" Velma exclaimed, "They won't... or can't... say anything but grunt, and the one who was articulate before sure isn't now..." She paused. "Jinkies! Look! They're covered in slime!"  
  
Not exactly covered in slime, but had once been. Most of it had dried. "Do you suppose the slime has something to do with it?"  
  
"I'll bet it does, the walking brain has to be behind this!" Daphne exclaimed. "What do you suppose the slime is made of?"  
  
"I don't know, but there's plenty around here to get a sample of it..." Velma began, than stopped. "But there's no time for that now! The Brain's back! Run!"  
  
The brain came sliding down the hall towards them. The farmers scrambled back inside the closet, whimpering.  
  
Velma raced down the hall.  
  
Daphne was right behind her.  
  
And the brain was right behind Daphne.  
  
"God! Why do all of our monsters have to be so gooey and disgusting?" Daphne yelped, skidding in some slime that had already been there. "Why do they always find us just when we're about to find a clue? And why do we always have to FIND monsters in the first place?"  
  
She finally slipped, and fell forwards into Velma. The two of them went skidding over the ground, and crashed through...  
  
... a trick wall.  
  
The brain was trapped on the other side of the wall.  
  
"There!" Daphne exclaimed, not moving as all of her muscles protested any movement whatsoever, "I saved us!"  
  
"Yeah... you saved us, alright." Velma groaned. "Danger-prone Daphne, you sure fucking saved us. Now who's going to save US from YOU?"  
  
She shoved Daphne off of her in annoyance, then drew back her hand. "Oh, good... we have a sample of the slime, at least!" She exclaimed, peering at her hand, which was still connected to Daphne with several strands of mucous.  
  
Daphne was considering beating Velma into a pulp, but was distracted. "Oh, gross! First my shoe, now my shirt!"  
  
She stopped complaining for a minute to investigate the goo. "What, exactly, is that, Velma?" She asked. "Any ideas?"  
  
"I have a sneaking suspicion..." Velma said, and wrinkled her nose. She wiped her hand off on a clean spot on Daphne's blouse. "I think it's some sort of... drug, administered through the skin, actually." She said, and began compulsively wiping her hand on her sweater. "Wonderful."  
  
"Oh, god, I'm covered in a mind-altering drug, aren't I?" Daphne asked with a groan. "I really didn't need to know that..." She said after a minute. "But that'd explain those stoned farmers, wouldn't it?" Her eyes became several sizes larger than they already were. "Why would a huge, walking brain leave a trail of narcotics?"  
  
"I can't believe you actually could pronounce 'narcotics'. It's a three- syllable word. I'm proud." Velma said sarcastically still annoyed with Daphne and her impromptu 'escape route'.  
  
"Just because you're the brains of the group," Daphne said sulkily, "Doesn't mean you can mock me for not being the smartest around." She paused. "Even if there ARE only two people in the gang right now, but..." She trailed off. "Besides, if you keep on insulting me, I'm going to hit you."  
  
"Okay, okay, Daphne, you got me there. I'm sorry, I won't mock you." Velma said. "For awhile." She added, under her breath. "Now," She exclaimed, much more loudly. "Let's get out of here, and find that brain!"  
  
"Maybe... we should come up with some sort of plan, first?" Daphne suggested. "I don't know about you, but I don't want to end up babbling like those farmers."  
  
"A plan... my thoughts exactly, Daphne." Velma said, and began to pace. "We need to come up with some sort of trap... but we don't know what could stop the giant walking brain! Do you suppose a net would work? Yes... let's try a net." Velma said decisively. She wasn't used to coming up with plans, nor explaining her reasoning to Daphne, and wasn't particularly enjoying either one of them.  
  
"Net... right. Where are we going to- Jeepers! There's one out in the Mystery Machine! That's great- the brain is between us and the van!"  
  
"We need a diversion, too, then... okay, I've got it. Daph, you run out there, make a lot of noise, and see if you can lure the brain away from the front door. I'll go through the front door, get the net, and go to the balcony overlooking the... oh, wait... there's not a balcony is there? Okay... lure it away, and then eventually come out by the van... we can trap it outside!" Velma exclaimed.  
  
"Why do I always have to be the diversion?" Daphne whined. "For once, can't you be the diversion?"  
  
"Usually, Scooby and Shaggy are the diversions. Since you have the second- largest eyes of the group, you have to do it. Go! Before the brain finds us here!" Velma exclaimed, pointing at the door.  
  
Daphne blinked, stunned by Velma's reasoning. "Uhm... okay..." She began, and turned, heading out the door that led out of the secret room.  
  
"So gullible." Velma said, shaking her head, after Daphne disappeared around the corner and was safely out of earshot. "So very gullible."  
  
After a few minutes, Daphne ran into the walking brain- very nearly, at least. She turned and raced in the other direction.  
  
Velma headed out the opposite way Daphne had gone, and made it out to the Mystery Machine in no time. She dug around in the back. Of course, Daphne's wild ride had buried the net under just about everything else. It was very efficiently trapped.  
  
"I hate my life... I hate my life..." Daphne chanted as she raced down the hall. The walking brain... or oozing brain, or whatever... was sliding along right behind her, leaving the disgusting trail of slime wherever it went.  
  
She threw open the front door, and darted outside. "Velma! Where are you?" Daphne yelled, now reduced to running straight at the Mystery Machine. She was going to kill Velma if she had just taken off...  
  
Velma heard Daphne coming, and increased her efforts. With another hard tug on the edge of the net, it finally came free, though most of the contents of the Mystery Machine came with it. She dragged the net up onto the top of the van. "Over here, Daphne! Lure it over here!"  
  
Daphne turned in the direction of the Mystery Machine, made it about five steps, and, predictably, fell flat on her face. The brain oozed right over top of her, and continued towards the Mystery Machine, obviously intent on getting Velma next.  
  
"Oh, damn, that's not good..." Velma muttered, then threw the net over the Walking Brain. The net rolled halfway underneath it, then gears ground together with the sound of gnashing iron, something inside of it popped, and a spring came shooting right out of the middle of it.  
  
The Walking Brain rolled to a smoke-filled halt.  
  
Velma jumped down next to it. "Alright, the gig is up, whoever you are..." She exclaimed. "Come out!"  
  
A small panel on the side of the brain opened, and more smoke poured out. A coughing, old-man's head appeared. "I'm out, I'm out! You've got me, alright- now undo this net! I can't get out of here!"  
  
"Who are you," Velma asked, "And why were you attacking and drugging the farmers, and my friend and I, for that matter?"  
  
The old man groaned. "My name's Eddie Samp, and I own a real estate agency that wants to tear down this swampland for a mall. When those two old farmers refused to sell, I decided to scare them out." He coughed again. "Now, can you please take this stupid net off of my brain?"  
  
"Uhm... no, sorry. But I'm sure when my friend and I get back into town, and call the police, they'll be glad to take you out of that cranial cell and put you in another one. Speaking of which..." Velma hurried over to Daphne and bent down next to her. Besides a copious among of slime and one pair of tire tracks, she seemed fine, but with that much of the narcotics... "Daphne... are you okay?" She asked, shaking her friend on the shoulder, and hoping that there wasn't enough narcotic build up already on her skin to konk her out for the day... sympathetic as that was, but someone had to get them home.  
  
"Guh." Daphne said intelligently, staring blankly ahead... not unlike the stare she wore whenever Velma confused her, actually.  
  
"Jinkies! The Walking brain made you stupider than you already are!" Velma exclaimed, then sighed. She headed back to the Mystery Machine, threw the stuff back into the back, and found a towel that only smelled somewhat of Scooby and Shaggy's latest culinary creation, wrapped it around Daphne's shoulders, and tried to lead her back towards the van. "Let's get out of here, and quickly..." Velma began.  
  
After only banging Daphne's head on the door two or three times, she managed to push the redhead inside.  
  
Seeing as Daphne could now only speak in monosyllabic grunts, she was rather quiet on the ride back to the city.  
  
The Mystery Machine bumped down the road at about 25 miles an hour, and took the corners even slower.  
  
Velma peered over the wheel. "I wish I HAD started driver's education last summer, or at least driven with my dad a little..." She muttered, and looked over at Daphne. "I guess we're heading back to your place, then?"  
  
"Swlasdlibos?" Daphne uttered.  
  
Velma nodded. "Thought so." She replied. "Some mystery, huh? Too bad the rest of the gang couldn't have helped us out."  
  
"Gwibble." Daphne agreed.  
  
Velma shook her head. "You just HAD to fall, didn't you?. stupid ditz."  
  
The Mystery Machine disappeared around a corner, leaving the brain, the nearly deserted farmhouse, and the mystery behind.  
  
End  
  
~~~~~~~ For more information on this lovely RPG, please visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Scoobydoo_this/ Our claim representatives are available 24 hours a. oh, wait, that's not us! We might be around. But we'll happily receive you.  
  
~Oboebyrd. GWIBBLE!!!!! 


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